A Mature Practical Backside View From the Beach

For Ross and I the "Jersey Shore" life style is a little lot different than that TV show.    One thing we do have in common with the Jersey Shore people is we do live in a community with other people of the same age.  And we do have our characters.  If Snooky and The Situation want to see themselves in 30 years, they should come visit.   I actually think Snooky stole that hair style from Carmela down the street.

Anyway,  it only takes a car ride over the bridge and then a little ways down the boulevard to get to the beach.

We have been living here for 9 years now.   Each year the amount of time we spend at the beach has dwindled considerably.   Last year I think we made it over twice.

But around May of this year, Ross made a proclamation:  "We will be tan by June!"

Also around about May, Ross started bugging me about shopping for a bathing suit to wear to the beach.
"Really?"  I said.   "Do we really have to go there again?"

We live in an over 55 community.   I think the tankini was invented for our generation.  You obviously would not find any bikinis here...well except for Snooky Carmela, that is.

I have lost a few pounds since last summer so I thought that maybe I could find a suit that might not look so bad.     Ross, bless his heart, agreed to help me shop.

We went to the local bathing suit shop on the Island.  Practically, the tankini style suit is the better choice, you know, for the trips to the ladies room.  But, against my better practical judgement I decided I would go with a one piece instead of a tankini.  After all, I am a few pounds thinner.

 I tried on dozens, (and I'm not kidding) of suits.

I was pretty proud of myself because the suits I tried on were two sizes smaller than the ones I tried on last year.  

As I tried on each suit, I would come out of the dressing room, spin around, and ask Ross what he thought.   His answer was always the same.   "That looks really nice on you."  Of course the sales lady would chime in, "Oh that's a cute one."  

Between the two of them, they had me convinced that maybe I should try on one of those bikinis.
And so I did.   And then I didn't, buy one that is.

So I had it narrowed down to two.   I tried them both on one more time.

"Are you sure this looks okay?"  I asked Ross and the sales lady.  

"Oh yes," they both insisted.

"It's not too small?  It fits okay?"  I asked again.  

"Oh no" they both said. "it fits just right."

Just as Ross predicted, we have been to the beach many times already this year.   We actually started going on some nice days in May.   It was still a little too cool to wear my new suit at that time.

Thursday of this week was the first time I wore my new suit to the beach.  It was a bit breezy and still a little cool for me, so I kept the shorts and tee on over the suit.

Yesterday, Saturday, July 2, was the start of the rental tourist season on the Island.   People rent houses from Saturday to Saturday.   It was a gorgeous day.  We decided to get over to the beach early to beat the crowds.  

It was warm enough for me to discard the shorts and tee.    Whenever I would get up to go for a walk, though, I kept tugging at the suit.   It felt like I wasn't getting enough coverage on the back end, if you know what I mean.

I had a crazy thought.  I handed the camera to Ross.   I want you to take a picture of me walking away from you.   I want to see what this suit really looks like from the back.

Shaking his head, Ross agreed.  We began walking down the beach.  Me in front, he following.

When we were a little distance away from the crowd,  I stopped, he snapped.

Now, I had second, third and fourth thoughts about posting that "me walking away" picture.   But I figured, hundreds of people saw me in this suit yesterday.   Yes, and I know they were all looking, pointing, and laughing.

So I figured not that many people read this blog, so what's a few more looking, pointing and laughing people.

Okay, when I tried on the suit this was my view when I looked in the dressing room mirror:

Except for the silly hat, not too bad.

But this is the angle that I couldn't get a good view of from the dressing room mirror.

Are those butt cheeks hanging out?   Didn't Ross and the sales lady see that?  

Ross made the silly mistake of saying to me,  "After all, you did stop running on the tread mill." 

Then he tried to cover that blunder up with:  "I know you don't have the body of a twenty year old.  I love you for the beautiful mature woman that you are."   

I think he was using that big sand shovel the kids left here, cause the hole he was digging for himself was getting pretty deep. 

Well,  after seeing that picture, I sat down and immediately ordered this practical full coverage two piece tankini suit from Land's End yesterday.

Funny little aside.   When I called Lands End to ask about sizing, the sales person asked for my measurements.  After I gave them to her, she checked and said I should order a size 2.   Yea Right!  Talk about vanity sizing.  

Actually, all kidding aside, Ross, I am thrilled that when you see me in my bathing suit, you see a beautiful woman.   (I'm going to leave out the mature part, if you don't mind.)  And how many husbands would sit patiently waiting while their wife tried on dozens (and I'm not kidding) of bathing suits. 

Most importantly, we had a beautiful day yesterday.  Maybe next time we can play "Last ones on the beach!"