Letter O - Opening

 Opening

I live in an age restricted gated community.  It's that time of year where we have to get our 2026 pool passes.   

Last year was my first summer living here. 

I was informed that in order to be able to use the pool, I had to go to the office with proper ID and get a pool pass.  

At the office they gave me a temporary pass until the annual permanent one was printed.

Being new in the community and not knowing anyone, it took me a couple of days to get up the nerve to go to the pool.

It was July 4th weekend.  I got myself together, packed all the gear...towels, suntan lotion, my knitting, and a book.   I was stepping out of my comfort zone, but I thought, maybe my knitting might spark up a conversation with someone.

There was a table set up at the entrance to the pool area where I was greeted by a young woman who asked to see my pool pass. 

I had my temporary paper pass ready to show her.  She looked at it for a few seconds and proceeded to tell me that the pass had expired a day earlier.  I was confused because I didn’t realize there was an expiration date.  She showed me where it was clearly stated.

She said I would have to go to the office to pick up my permanent one. “But it’s closed today,” she added. 

With a sigh, I thought, of course it was. 

I told her I had a community ID with my photo on it.

She said, “Sorry, I can only admit you with a proper pool pass.”

I was angry.  But I kept my cool and left.

 I couldn’t help but wonder why she couldn’t have bent the rules a little on that particular hot and sunny July 4^th. 

Logically, I understand, there are rules and she was just doing her job. But that experience stayed with me.  It made me think of understanding and empathy.   

We never really know what someone else may be going through,  

Here I was newly widowed, new to the community, stepping out of my comfort zone and this young woman had no way of knowing any of that. 

After that, I was a little turned off about the whole pool thing and didn’t use it much that summer. 

So next week we can go pick up our new pool passes.  Since I already have a permanent pool pass, I just need to get a 2026 sticker put on it. 

I will probably give the pool another chance, especially on one of those hot, humid, New Jersey summer days. 

And Maybe I’ll find a knitting buddy. 

What do you think?  Should I have been allowed to use the pool that day?

 

Neighbor

Two years ago, I moved from a single-family home to a duplex style house.  The design is clever because the two units are only connected by our separate garages. 

From the street, you see my front door. 

The entrance to my neighbors' is on the side of their house.  So, mine looks like a single-family home. 

I don’t hear any noise from them and, hopefully they don’t. hear any from me. 

Since moving in, I’ve only spoken to George and Cathy a handful of times.  

We’ve exchanged phone numbers, just in case we ever need one another.

Even though we don’t socialize, they’re nice and it’s comforting to know they are there, 

We each have a small backyard space. But because of how the houses are positioned, I have a direct view into their sunroom, and they have a direct view of my patio. 

Cathy mentioned they spend most of their time in the sunroom. 

In other words, not much privacy.  

Last year I bought planters with trestles. 

 I filled them with lovely plants which do provide a small amount privacy.  

George told me they are thrilled with the planters. 

One afternoon, Cathy, who told me she rarely leaves her house, walked over to my patio to tell me she enjoys looking at the flowers. 

As she was heading back toward the sunroom, she stopped, turned around and said: “We have binoculars. If you see us using them, don’t worry, we are bird watchers.”

I was a little taken aback by that. But I’m quite sure they are not spies.  

Or are they? 

 

Money

Growing up my parents didn’t specifically talk to us about their financial situation.  

My father was a construction worker.  That meant seasonal work.  He would be without work in the winter for months at a time.  

During those times I remember my grandmother bringing us groceries. 

We wore hand-me downs from cousins who were never quite the same size as us at the time they outgrew their clothes.

The dresses were always a little too big.   Even though my mother would hem the pants, they never fit quite right. 

But we were always excited to see what was in the bags my aunt would bring. 

The dishes my mother would prepare were simple meals using ingredients that would stretch.  And they were always tasty.  

I don’t remember ever being hungry. 

We never went without a meal.  

Although the tension between my parents was obvious, we didn’t quite know why.

I really didn’t understand “money” until I was married with children and with that came a mortgage and car payments. 

I quit work after I had my first child and didn’t go back to work until my third child was in first grade.

Our income was half of what it was when I was working. We started to live beyond our means by using credit cards. We didn’t want our kids to have to wear hand-me-downs. We made sure they would always have the hottest Christmas toy. 

So yes, money or I should say lack of did cause some tension in our marriage. It was more about differences in spending priorities though.   

My relationship with money is much different now.  I live on a fixed income and lead very simple single life

I have figured out that I don’t need anything, really.  I understand that buying new art supplies or pretty yarn, is just a temporary fix for when I am feeling low.  

My money worries now are whether I will have enough in the future to able to afford decent care if I need it.

My sister and I had a discussion yesterday about money.

She asked me if I regretted my spending habits.  She wanted to know if I was sorry that I didn’t save more.

To tell you the truth, I was never wealthy and at this point I never will be. So, if I had saved a little more, I don’t think it would have changed my life in any meaningful way 

No, me and money, we are getting along just fine now. And for the first time, it feels like enough.