Can You Find a New Old Friend?

Ross and I were sitting in the local diner a few weeks ago.  It was an odd hour, too late for lunch too early for even the early bird special.   For that reason the diner was also pretty empty.

There was another couple sitting in fairly close proximity to us. They seemed to be having a rather emotional conversation.

They appeared to be around the same age as Ross and I.

Every once in a while I would catch the woman looking at me with a tentative smile.   Finally I smiled back at her.  The next thing I knew we were having a conversation.

She asked me if we were from the area.  I told her that we were not originally from the area, but that we have been living here for about 9 years.  She told me that she and her husband had moved into the area only a couple of years ago.   Then she began to cry.   She told us she has been so lonely since moving here.

Even though they moved into an adult community with all sorts of activities to encourage meeting new people, she missed her old friends.

I asked her about family.  She told me that her children and grandchildren were still living in the northern part of the state, which was about two hours away.  She and her husband thought that by moving down to the Jersey shore, the kids would surely be there all of the time, especially in the summer.  But they didn't come.

I have heard that same story from a number of people who have migrated to the many adult communities around the Jersey shore.  

One couple in particular, actually our next door neighbor, bought the largest model house with over 3000 square feet, complete with sun room,  full basement, two car garage, and attic storage.
They needed the room for when the kids came to visit.  

But, the kids just never seemed to have the time or apparently the inclination to make the trip.  Therefore, most of that 3000 square feet sat empty.  

About two years after they moved in, our next door neighbors sold their house and moved to Florida.    That was what they really wanted to do all along. She had a brother who lived there and he had two sisters who had also moved to Florida.  But their initial decision to move into this community instead of Florida was based on the hope that their children would always be around visiting frequently.

After they found out that their kids were busy with their own lives and had really fled the nest, they decided it was time for them to live out the rest of their lives the way they wanted to.

Some people are naturals at making new friends, no matter what the circumstance.  I felt badly for the woman in the diner.  She apparently was one of those people who did not find it easy to fit right in.

As I thought about it, I began to realize that as one gets older, it is more difficult to begin a new relationship.   The bottom line is, as people age, they don't have the  luxury of time.  It takes time to build a friendship.  At this stage and age can a new friendship compare to life long friendships?  

Then I wondered if a service was available for people who want to find companionship with others with  similar backgrounds and interests.    Something like a "dating" service but for people who just want to find a friend.  

You know someone like your friend Mary, who always had time for that chat over a cup of coffee.    A shopping buddy, like your friend Jackie who loved the mall as much as you did.   Or Sue, who was there for you when you were going through the most difficult time of your life.

Perhaps the woman in the diner would not have been so sad and lonely and she and her husband would not have had to move back to the old neighborhood if such a service existed.