I am spitting mad. It was that e-mail that I received. I want to respond. The practical and probably wise side of me advises that I wait until I calm down. But I have composed a response in my mind. It's biting and filled with sarcasm. I like to think of it as a one, two punch. Or "here take this and that" followed by "and another thing!" It's rather good, if I do say so myself.
The more I thought about this imagined response, though, the more I wondered how effective it would be. Would it make me feel better to "get it off my chest"? Perhaps I want to evoke feelings of guilt. What would be the point of engaging in an on-going e-mail battle?
Do I really want to take the chance that a relationship which is near and dear might suffer irreparable damage?
What exactly was the goal of my response?
After thinking about it carefully, because that's what I do, I have decided that until I analyze it to death, because that's also what I do, no response might be the best response, just for right now anyway.
Here is today's entry from Anna's diary:
Thurs. February 21 1929
Mary B. came about eleven in a taxi. Very stormy out and a foot of snow. Mary M and Rose came also in cab. Served about 4 and girls left about five o'clock.
Today, I attended Uncle's funeral. The services were held in the same area where Anna lived. The temperatures were in the upper 40's so no snow.
RIP, Uncle.
I have found that when I have as many questions about a proposed piece of writing, that discretion is the better part of valor, at least until the dust settles. Good decision.
ReplyDeleteI think you probably made a wise choice. I have those internal struggles with things sometimes. For example, I received a distressing series of emails three years ago this past December that angered me so much that it took me multiple attempts to read them. (In fact, the longest of them, I printed out and ended up physically THROWING midway through, I was so upset.) I formulated multiple exclamation-point laden responses in my brain, but thought better of typing them out let alone sending them. (Devoted a good chunk of a spiral notebook to my spitting mad thoughts instead.)
ReplyDeleteOne caveat, though, I intended to wait until I was calm to address the issue with the person in question and ended up talking myself out of it (because what good what it do, etc). All that unsaid stuff has really colored my relationship with the person, but at this point, I don't have clue one how to broach it OR how to let it go.
Ugh. I am not a patient person. I tend to get fired up and then tell it like I see it and regret it later. Never good. Even though I can't take my own suggestion, I say, yes, wait it out.
ReplyDelete