Yesterday, I walked into Curves for my morning workout. Nine a.m. is a popular hour and nearly all of the machines were filled. For most of the members going to Curves is just as much of a social gathering as it is an exercise program. There are always 3 or 4 conversations going on at once. But yesterday the hubbub was more concentrated and louder than normal.
The manager, Carol, was standing in the center of the circuit and the women who were working out were listening intently to what she was saying.
Apparently, five minutes before I got there, someone had walked in to inquire about a membership to Curves. Not just any person, though, this person was a transsexual, noticeably in the midst of a gender reassignment.
Everyone was congratulating Carol for handling herself in a professional manner. Carol confessed, though, that it was hard to maintain her composure, especially when she looked over at Patty and Sue and saw the expression on their faces.
Carol said that she gave the woman the standard spiel and tour, just as she always did. The woman thanked her and said she would have to give it some consideration.
Since Curves is strictly for women, the controversial discussion revolved around the what the policy of corporate Curves was regarding allowing a transgendered person to become a member. The owner of the franchise was awaiting word from Curves corporate legal department.
The consensus of the dozen women discussing this topic yesterday, was that they would not feel comfortable working out alongside a transgendered individual. I disagreed and said that it would not make a difference to me who was working out next to me.
It is true that everyone is entitled to their opinion, and in this country can speak freely.
I did object to the manner in which these women were expressing their opinions. The comments being made were cruel. Some were making crude jokes.
While it is true that most of the woman in attendance that morning were of the older generation, I would have expected that they would have reached a maturity level that would have promoted a more respectful and caring attitude towards another human being.
While it is true that most of the woman in attendance that morning were of the older generation, I would have expected that they would have reached a maturity level that would have promoted a more respectful and caring attitude towards another human being.
I expressed my opinion to the owner and to Carol. I let them know that I found the jokes and comments to be offensive.
But I am curious to find out what the ruling by the Corporate Curves will be. It is an interesting question. I imagine a transgendered person must have to face challenges like this every day.
Here is today's entry from Anna's diary:
Friday March 8 1929
Mary for lunch. Had Charlotte to clean. Drove Mary home at 5. Two tables of bridge evening. Miss Ely, Buff, Adele and Donald, Jewel, Rick, Jean and myself. Baby in bed. Served - Company left at about two.
Here is today's entry from Anna's diary:
Friday March 8 1929
Mary for lunch. Had Charlotte to clean. Drove Mary home at 5. Two tables of bridge evening. Miss Ely, Buff, Adele and Donald, Jewel, Rick, Jean and myself. Baby in bed. Served - Company left at about two.
Agreed - the one person at a time connection is most powerful. I have had speakers come to address the GSA and their impact is huge. Kids connect when you let them. Adults can too.
ReplyDeleteGood for you. I do not care for Curves. And I once went to Curves.
ReplyDeleteCurves is owned by Born Again Christians. Although they don't promote religion in their clubs, I bet that their corporate stand will not support a transgendered person. You can Google "curves religion" and get several articles. I remembered when I attended that the owner seemed to have a praise song or two sprinkled in with the other music they played. One of the reasons they are not open on Sunday is to respect the Sabbath.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for speaking your opinion. Too many sit back and don't get involved or express their opinions and just "go with the flow".
Lynda, something told me not to miss this site, this morning. I am going to assign the highest compliment I possibly can, upon a person, and that is to say you would fit right in, here in my neck of the woods. California is a very welcoming place, for the most part.
ReplyDeleteI encountered a former colleague from the staff of the middle school recently. This woman is still on staff as an instructional assistant. I had taught both of her daughters, three years apiece. I said to her, "How are my girls doing? I haven't seen you for a spell." She responded, with both hands expressively thrown outward, "Singular! We now have one girl and one guy. "Suzie" is now "Ralph." For me, it was instant comprehension. I said, without missing a beat, "Well, say hey to them both, and tell Ralph I look forward to meeting him." This conversation took place in the foyer of the elementary school, as parents, kids, and teachers were bustling around.
What a contrast from what this scene may have been like, had the times not changed to allow a person to be the person he/she would like to be, without being subject to the conversation you described. It matters not whether the person being discussed is present or not. Whew, thanks for coming to the defense of another human being, not only on the spot, which is hard, but to follow up with the owner and Carol, which takes time and initiative. Well-played.
Even though I can in no way relate to the painful distress someone like Ralph must have felt, I am glad that he was able to become the person that he probably always knew he should have been.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like his mother was very supportive. I'm sure your colleague appreciated your support too.
You know, I like Carol a lot. She is the type of person who would do anything for anybody. But, I think that sometimes she just may be a little too free with what she reveals.
ReplyDeleteI will have to follow up to see if a response was ever received about the policy. I have a feeling that the woman probably won't be back to sign up. I also agree that each is entitled to their opinion, but, again I had a problem with the cattiness with which they expressed that opinion.
ReplyDeleteI agree education could be the key. But I think a better way would be for these individuals to actually have personal contact with people who may not be just like them. You know, I have a feeling that if this woman were to become a member, and the other women got to know her, they might just might forget their little prejudices.
ReplyDeleteIt is true about the generation gap. It is pretty obvious. I think it goes a little further thank just age though. Perhaps just lack of personal exposure to all the different types people of who live in our not so big world.
ReplyDeleteThat was my thought too. I wondered how those ladies would want one of their loved ones to be treated under similar circumstances.
ReplyDeleteAs far as I know, and I am sure I would have heard, the woman has not been back to sign up. Perhaps she decided another place might be a better option for her.
ReplyDeleteThanks.
ReplyDeleteIt was a little out of my comfort zone to speak up. But there are times when you just have to, you know?
I am glad you spoke up. It is distressing to me how persistent and prevalent certain forms of ignorance and prejudice can be (as you said, one hopes that people outgrow these sorts of things at some point). I think what distresses me most is that Carol, as the manager, was participating in this conversation. That's highly unprofessional and would make me wonder if she gossips with certain clients about other clients as well. I hope you'll let us know what you find out about corporate Curves policy on this issue.
ReplyDeleteYou know, this is something I might have to ask my own Curves owner about...I'm not sure the situation has ever arisen in our location but, with Madison so near, I'm sure the question has come up (or even the whole situation itself).
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you for speaking up. Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with it...but that's me and that's how I feel. Others may not feel that way and that's their opinion.
This is disturbing to me. A transgendered person is just that. They are becoming (or have become) who they really are. There should be no question or comment about their gender just as I expect (and receive) zero comments about my gender. Perhaps education is the key. I am proud to be the staff advisor for our school's chapter of the GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance). It is awesome to work within the culture to promote each person's right to be who they are and not be judged for their identity. I am glad you spoke the owner and the manager. I would be interested in corporate's response as well.
ReplyDeleteOlder folks tend to be more set in their ways and their opinions. Back in their day things like that were not accepted, discussed, or rarely went on. As time passes, younger generations have seen this more in the world and might not find it so shocking and therefore be a little more accepting and approach this situation with a little more compassion. Great post.
ReplyDeleteKathy
http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com/
How sad. If those ladies were even for a minute able to put themselves in that person's place they might see how incredibly brave it was to walk into that environment knowing what the reaction might be. I fear that given the majority reaction, if the company can get away with it they will react negatively to protect their commercial interests. Those are the realities. Good for you for putting up a fight.
ReplyDeleteI love how you attempted to view life through the lens of the person who is different. Life can be so challenging, and in the arena of gender reassignment, I can't even begin to imagine the issues one might face. I'm glad that you spoke up. I hope that person will find a good place to workout without being subject to judgement and ridicule.
ReplyDeleteKudos to you for speaking up. The unexpected can certainly throw us off kilter, but hopefully the owner will do some good reflective thinking before reacting and help set a tone for acceptance.
ReplyDelete