My Darling

     On December 5, 2011 my son Joe passed away from colon cancer.  He was 36 years old.
     It has been five months, only five months.  I miss him every moment of every day.
     There are many photos of Joe around.   As I glance up from my computer screen,  I catch glimpses of Joe with Domani in his arms and Anne by his side.  His young little family.
     In one of Anne's posts she writes about a play list of songs that Joe put together shortly after Domani was born. This was the music that Joe would use to help soothe Domani to sleep.
     After looking at the list of songs, I decided to listen to each one and create a playlist for my iPod.
     The first one on the list was "Our Prayer" by the Beach Boys.  The one I found on iTunes is a lovely instrumental and is the lullaby version. It was very sweet.
     The next song on the list was "My Darling" by Wilco.  I listened to the song on iTunes, but couldn't quite understand the words.   I googled to find the lyrics.

"My Darling"

Go back to sleep now

My darlin

And I'll keep all the bad dreams away

Breathe now, think sweet things

And I'll think of all the right words to say

Because we made you

My darlin

With the love in each of our hearts

We were a family, my darlin

Right from the start

Grow up now

My darlin

Please don't you grow up too fast

And be sure, darlin

To make all the good times last

Because we made you

My darlin

With the love in each of our hearts

We were a family, my darlin

                                                                   Right from the start.

      As I thought about Joe hand selecting every song, each one perfect, for his son,  I was overwhelmed with emotion and love for my Joe.   After reading the poignant words to "My darling",  I was overcome by a great wave of grief and sadness.  So much so, that I cannot move on to the other songs on the list.  Maybe in time I will, but not right now.
     I will never understand why Anne is alone and why Domani doesn't have his daddy.
     For after all, it was supposed to be Joe, Anne and Domani , they were a family, "Right from the start." 

I have created a page for Anna's Diary.  It can be found under the Tab titled Anna's Diary.

I have posted all of the entries to date there, starting with January 1, 1929.

Here is today's entry from Anna's diary:
Mon. May 6, 1929
Went to Allenhurst with Elsie and Minnie to turn gas & elec. on in her summer home for Bill's party on Sat.  Dinner in Asbury. Home about 6:30.  Beautiful day.