No Words
by Lgg (that's me)
When I reached out to touch
they taught no words to me.
No words niggle and nag
until I agree that I will never
be able to do that.
No words burrow deep inside
as if it is their rightful place.
No words mock and judge
until I agree that I can't
find my own way.
No words neglect my heart
and masterfully invade my soul.
No words lecture and intimidate
until I agree that I don't
deserve any of that.
No words harshly whisper
"when they reach out to touch,
teach no words to them."
I recently finished reading the novel Imperfect Birds written by Anne Lamott. This was my first Lamott experience. I must say, the character, the mother, Elizabeth made me very uncomfortable. Ross wanted to know how a character in a novel, (You know she isn't real, right?" he asked) could have that effect on me.
Lamott describes Elizabeth's reaction after reading an entry in her daughter's journal this way: "She had had to do Lamaze after reading the entry."
That is how I sometimes felt while reading some of Lamott's descriptions of Elizabeth's mothering angst. I recognized characteristics in Elizabeth's personality which were identical (okay maybe very similar) to mine.
Oh, yes Elizabeth achingly loved her child, but she was a worrier mother.
I achingly love my children, but I am a worrier mother.
I was the daughter of a worrier mother. Messages of you shouldn't, you will never be able to, and my favorite, "go ahead, laugh today, because you will be crying tomorrow" are deeply etched into my psyche.
As my worrier mother passed on her worrier ways to me, I fear that I too have passed my own angst onto my children.
My children have had to dig deep during some of the most difficult of times recently. Through it all they have displayed incredible strength, courage, compassion and love. I am honored to celebrate Mother's day as their proud mother.
Now that my children have children of their own, perhaps I could sort of have a do-over by suggesting that in addition to worrying (hey it's in the genes), they might also introduce the simple philosophy of "The Little Engine That Could" to their kids.
I have created a page for Anna's Diary. It can be found under the Tab titled Anna's Diary.
I have posted all of the entries to date there, starting with January 1, 1929.
Here are yesterday and today's entry from Anna's Diary:
Sat. May 11, 1929
Had wonderful surprise given to me. A surprise theater party to Shuberts. Had Jane Cowl in "Paolo and Francesca". There were ten girls. They had tables reserved at the Green Parrot for dinner. Planned by Edythe, Jeanne and Jewel.
Enjoyed your post. I understand how you could see a bit of yourself in a character in a book. Just reading your post made me smile and say "I am like that" as I am a worrier, as is my mother too... Wonder if it is passed down? Have a Happy Mother's day!
ReplyDeleteThinking of you on Mother's day!
ReplyDeleteThank you. Hope yours was okay. Thought of you too.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I guess it's the sign of a good writer if the author can make a character that identifiable.
ReplyDelete