Mother's Are Always Just A Phone Call Away

Hi Ma.

Doing ok.

You can hear it my voice?  You're right.  I know.  I can't fool you.   No, I'm not doing so ok, today.

I know what you mean, I still can't believe it either.

Yea, I agree.  I know how special he was to you.

Why? Why him?  That is a question I ask myself every day.

Yes, it is a nice day out today.  But, I don't want to move out of my hibernation chair.  The mindless repetition of knit one, purl one and stockinette keeps me sane. Besides it feels safe here.

I know, I know life goes on.  But I'm afraid, Ma.  I'm afraid he will get left behind.
It's the feeling I used to get when I was out shopping with the kids.  I was always looking around to make sure they were in my sight.   My heart would literally stop when they would wander off.   I just don't want him to get lost in the shuffle of life going on?  That's why I have to keep him right here, with me. You know what I mean?

Remember, Ma, remember right after he was born?  I was having a difficult time.  You were right there.   You were always there,  just a phone call away.

You know, Ma, I thought I knew what being a mother was all about, especially after this last year. But, for some reason, though, today...today, when I reached for the phone to call you,  I understood what being a mother is really all about.   I knew that you, only you would understand my pain like no one else ever could.