A Mother’s Day Reflection - White Carnations & Pink Azaleas

The origin of Mother’s day is a true testament to the significance of the day.  A daughter, Anna Jarvis, who wanted to memorialize and pay tribute to her beloved mother, Ann Jarvis, campaigned to have a day set aside to celebrate all mothers.

I have mixed emotions about Mother’s day.  My own mothering began at an early age.  I was the oldest of 6 siblings. 

My mom relied and depended on me in many different ways.  Even at an early age, I sometimes felt as though our roles were reversed.

I admit there were times I resented it.   I guiltily and vividly remember incidents when I lost my patience with her.  

Up until she passed away, in 2009, I spent every single Mother’s day with my Mom.

Funny, but now, upon reflection, my recollections of my mother are so different.  Now, especially today, on Mother’s day, I have fond memories of the days we spent together.  I remember the many times she was there for me.  No, let me change that.  I understand and realize that she was always there for me.  

Today, on this Mother’s day,  this third Mother’s day without my son, as I achingly grieve for him,  I miss my mom so much. 

I want to talk to her,  I want to cry with her, be comforted by her, and most of all be mothered by her. 

Anna Jarvis referred to a carnation as the perfect flower to symbolize the significance of honoring mom.
"Its whiteness is to symbolize the truth, purity and broad-charity of mother love; its fragrance, her memory, and her prayers. The carnation does not drop its petals, but hugs them to its heart as it dies, and so, too, mothers hug their children to their hearts, their mother love never dying…”

Today,  I will try to stay present in a garden of pink azaleas.