💝Before I begin, today is my grandson Ryan’s 11th birthday! How different times are. This morning I sent him an Instagram voice message of me and Ross singing Happy Birthday :)
So, we are dealing with a life bump, or potential blip. I don’t care to be specific, and we are hoping that the test turns out to be favorable.
The reason I have even mentioned it is because it has triggered uncomfortable thoughts and feelings about the stage of life Ross and I are in.
I am frightened. Not of the immediate that we are facing, but of what’s to come next in our lives.
And it is a life certainty that there is going to be a next.
When I try to imagine what it will be like to face these nexts, I get a clutch in my stomach and realize there is not a way I can envision that I would be able to manage. I worry that my power-through stamina is not as strong as it once was.
I’m perfectly aware that the horrible, unfathomable next we have already experienced, the death of my child, has greatly affected my outlook on all the future nexts.
Happy birthday to your grandson.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're going through this. I hope it all turns out for the best.
Thank you! I am having positive thoughts today. :)
DeleteHappy birthday to Ryan! Sorry you are going through a blip. Unfortunately life has a way of doing that to us. You might prove to be stronger than you think and will be able to manage finer than you think you could. I think we will all find ourselves in that one way or another, whatever side we might be on.
ReplyDeletebetty
Thank you! I know from experience that I always have been able to step up to the plate when needed. It’s just that some days, I just don’t want to :)
DeleteHi Lynda, Happy Birthday to your grandson!! I am saddened to hear your going through a 'blip' it's just awful! I can see you are a strong woman, head of the family I think! I completely understand that sometimes 'you just don't want to have to be strong' and that past events have taken some of that strength from you but as we know not what the future holds, put all these thoughts away in the back of the life cupboard! Try to get on with today and the fabulous knitting and insta stories that we treasure to see. Try not to worry, were here supporting you, love to you both Jan (Janscraftycrochet)
ReplyDeleteHi Jan, Hopefully it’s a "nothing to worry about" thing . Thank you so much for your encouraging words (always). I feel lucky to have “met” you, my friend. I know you completely understand. The calm and distraction of knitting and the supportive community of lovely people I have gotten to know is certainly a much welcomed virtual hug.
DeleteJust a test
ReplyDeleteI love that you and Ross are so fun, I think it's great you sent him an IG message :). Sending positive thoughts and love. I often am the worrier and my "past" influences how I feel or see life. I think it's perfectly understandable. I hope it's nothing to worry about though.
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